Bird Bazaar and Burka

Upon feeling better, I scanned the guide book for an interesting place to visit in Kabul. I quickly decided that the part of the old bazaar in the section of the city south of the river where birds are sold seemed like a very promising option. Andrea and I set out by taxi to that part of the city. On the way, I decided that I would really like to try some fresh mango juice. Andrea desperately tried to convince the man working there that I could drink the juice outside, but he insisted we go in and sit down, making me the only woman in the shop and ensuring that we stuck out. The mango juice, kind of a milkshake with fresh mango, milk and ground almond, was delicious but I drank as quickly as possible so we could leave. Then we entered the bazaar. With my old scarf slipping off of my fine hair and exposing its light color, there was not any question that I was a foreigner. Andrea, who blends perfectly, found this very hard to take. I attracted so many stares, while no one looked twice at him.
We soon passed a shop that seemed to sell nothing but the well-known blue cloth burkas. Andrea asked if he should buy me one, and shy, I first refused. But then, realizing that it would not be expensive, I agreed. A little ways further I purchased a black scarf which seemed as if it my stay more firmly upon my head. We then began to search a maze of sellers looking for the bird bazaar.
We wound through the bazaar, first one way and another, asking where we could find that section. At times we were sure we could hear birds but we didn’t see them. Finally, we came to the small section, one alley really, where the birds were sold. There were doves and pigeons people keep and fly, partridges that may be used for fighting, and several beautiful, bright pheasants. There were also small green parents, canaries, cockatiels, parakeets and finches. Birdcages lined the area. There were also some rabbits, and I held a tiny black and white baby. We also found a pen with two puppies. The owner told us they were a special Russian breed and would go for $300, although I was very skeptical. One of the pups was shy and hung back, but the braver was soon tussling with my hand and gnawing on my fingers. I think Andrea fell in love with that one and for several days has said he wants a puppy.
After dragging ourselves away from the animals, I once again felt overly conscious of people’s stares. I pulled on the black scarf and felt a little better. Since we still seemed to have some spare time, I decided to do a little looking around at dresses. I found a dress store and when I realized how inexpensive the traditional dresses were, I decided to purchase one. Turquoise and covered with gold embroidery, sequins, and some rhinestones, I fell in love with it. Andrea was very patient while I tried to make the decision-the shop was full of beautiful things!-but this was perfect. We then quickly returned to the institute to show off our finds and have dinner.
The next day, we decided to visit Babur’s gardens, a beautifully restored setting that was the final resting place of the Mughal emperor. This time, I decided to wear my new burka. Leaving the institute and first walking through its more upscale surroundings, home to few burka-clad women, I felt very self-conscious. I felt like I was an imposter, and that I should hide my real identity, because people would laugh at me if I was found out. We took a taxi to the same bazaar to start. First, we walked some around there. I became so much more aware of what the other women were wearing for a little while. I looked for other women in burkas and felt better to see how many there were. As we walked away from the bazaar, I began to feel easier. It wasn’t really all that difficult to see out of. The only difficulty was that I couldn’t see what was directly at my feet, but I quickly learned to look ahead and remember any obstacles. We walked a very far distance out of town towards the gardens. To one side a small mountain rose up, covered with traditional mud-brick houses. I saw little girls playing up and done the stairs, the first little girls I have really seen playing (lots of boys playing, though). We took a detour up the mountain, and I lifted the burka to the top of my head to navigate the stairs, exactly as other women ascending and descending did. Other than a short break to eat a roasted corn that is sold after being cooked under hot salt, this was the only time I took up the burka during the long walk of about one and a half miles. The landscape, the mountains, the people, the old cemetery with jagged gravestones we passed at one point-all were very visible to me. I did not feel too bad in the hot sun, and I was able to breathe despite the synthetic material covering my face. I became so comfortable in feeling anonymous, and confident that no one would bother me like this, because wearing this, I felt there wasn’t anything for anyone to not approve of.
We finally made it to the gardens. The entryway was made of a large rebuilt stone caravanserai, that opened onto the lush, terraced gardens that rose before us. The gardens were full of Afghan picnickers, and it soon became apparent that this was some sort of mixture of private and public space. Families set up picnic areas in the trees, some open and some partially screened by women’s veils, which they had removed. Women with burkas had all raised them to the tops of their heads, so I switched to my black scarf. I had now found a hairclip to hold it in place under my chin so my hair stayed completely covered. While this is not quite the Afghan style, and looks like what an Iranian might wear to me, it seems better for me as with my hair showing everyone figures me out right away.
We climbed the terraces, looking at fruit trees like pomegranates and rose bushes as we went. At the top, we looked not only at the gardens and trees but felt we could freely take pictures of the traditional areas of the city clinging to the sides of the mountains, which we were previously uncomfortable doing. We also photographed a small while mosque ever-so-slightly reminiscent of the Taj Mahal and took in a photo exhibit. We found a beautiful pool and around its edge were flower gardens, including beautiful marigolds I so loved as a child. Kids were running wild, and we were very surprised to see that the guards we armed with slingshots to keep them in line.
After a very lovely walk, we decided to return home. I quickly switched back to my burka. Now, I almost felt proud wearing it, as if I was above reproach. Several Afghans had spoken to me and knew I was foreign, and yet still seemed to approve. I think I could become very comfortable wearing this here. We returned the full way to the center by taxi, where we enjoyed a delicious dinner and recounted the day’s adventure. We then went to the nearby grocery to buy some (local) ice-cream, me wearing my black scarf. This time the store clerks seemed confused and spoke to me in Farsi rather than English. Much better, I think.

Arrival and an Afghan Wedding

As the plane descended towards Kabul, I peered out the small window. Majestic, snow-capped mountains gave way to smaller, brown mountains and the outskirts of the city, brown mud houses appearing to blend with the rest of the landscape. It was exactly how I pictured the approach to Kabul airport. We landed and boarded a bus to the terminal, where I pulled by headscarf from the bag and put it on. Since then until now, I haven’t been out of the institute where I am staying without my head covered.
I made it through passport, registration, luggage and customs with no problems. I found that my Farsi was very useful, and many of the officials spoke with me for a few minutes as I went through the process. Then I began the long walk towards the waiting area of the airport. It seemed so long but finally I excited a gate and came to where Andrea was waiting, dressed in Pashtun clothing. I won’t write much about our reunion-just that after two long months I couldn’t take my eyes off of him and missed much of my first taxi ride through Kabul. I guess I would have seen streets fairly busy with people, although as it was Friday not completely packed. Women would have been covered to varying degrees-from long-sleeved tunics and headscarves to burkas. Men might be dressed in a more Western style, or in the long shalwar kameez white suit Andrea wore. The streets would have been dusty and full of cars and bicycles, and armed guards and soldiers might be apparent, depending on what type of place we were driving by. Election campaign posters plaster the walls. But, again, I am only guessing what I would have seen based on my later observations.
We arrived at the institute for researchers where we would be staying, located in a nice neighborhood in Kabul, Wazir Akbar Khan. The institute is beautiful. Or room opens to a balcony that looks out onto the backyard, which is filled with lush green grass (irrigated by water from a swimming pool emptied for this purpose), trees, and beautiful flowers. There is a nice sitting room downstairs and a nice dining room as well. But, I think the best part is Hazrat Gul and Lila, the husband and wife who look after the place with their six children. They are so very nice, and Lila’s cooking is amazing. Did I mention we eat here three times a day?
After a short period of relaxing with Andrea (too short considering we hadn’t seen each other in more than two months), we had to rush to a wedding. A relative of a local professor Andrea befriended was marrying, and we were expected to be there. I felt a little nervous, knowing the men and women wouldn’t be together and being so recently arrived. A taxi took us to the area of the city filled with gaudy hotels used for weddings, and at the entrance to the one we were to enter, a guard pointed to a separate door for me. Again, not usually a problem except that I knew absolutely no one even connected to this, save Andrea. Luckily, he called down the professor, who showed me in to the women’s side. Luckily, there was an Afghan woman, Fatima, amongst the several hundred in attendance who grew up in Iran and spent time in France, and who spoke English. I spoke some to the older women around the table but found the Dari accent difficult this early on. The younger girls at the table were from a village and seemed terrified to talk with me, so being put in touch with someone who knew English was great. The hall was full with women and children, and waiters literally all-out ran between the tables with trays piled high with food held over their heads. I don’t know how they didn’t collide with the many children, especially boys, going completely crazy on the floor all around. I later found most of the guests had been there since 9 am, and since it was nearing 2 in the afternoon, it made sense that the kids were acting out. The food was delicious, though, and there were at least seven different dishes.
Some of the women began to dance. Thee dresses were brightly colored, some beaded or embroidered, and all very beautiful. We watched the dancing until finally, the bride and groom entered. The bride was dressed in a very Western looking white dress. The two of them took the stage and the bride received gifts of gold jewelry. Lines of well-wishers, including myself and Fatima, approached the two with congratulations. Then the couple cut the wedding cake. This was something very strange to see because, after the ceremonial first slice, several women simply grabbed the rest of the cakes, chunked them up with their hands so that they were covered in icing, and heaped plates with these pieces, which were then passed around the room for anyone to reach in and grab as it sailed by. A mix of local and Western ways of doing things, I guess.
After this, we were finally able to leave. Unfortunately, I became ill for several days after this. While I haven’t had a migraine in ten years, I was hit with the worst one of my life and found myself unable to leave bed for several days. I even had a fever of 101. I guess I should be happy to have made it this far without becoming ill-but that fact that it was a migraine that got me really irked me! So, for several days there was nothing all that interesting to report-except perhaps waking up at 4 one morning to the sound of explosions and gunshots, which I later learned were a rocket attack connected with the elections. However, Andrea assured me that had casualties been the goal, the attacks would have been carried out in the daytime, when the streets are full of people, so I am not worried. It generally seems very calm here. I will continue writing what I have been doing since recovering as soon as possible.

Trip to Kulob and Departure from Tajikistan

For my last day in Tajikistan, I travelled to the southern city of Kulob to visit with some NGOs that work with migrants and the families of migrants. I made the trip with several friends carrying out research in Dushanbe. We found a taxi going to Kulob and by 7:30 am were on our way. The drive was beautiful, and it felt so good to be leaving the capital. First we drove through small towns and villages, where people, mostly women, were just starting to go about their daily lives. Soon we began to climb a winding mountain road into breathtaking scenery. To one side of the road, a body of water became visible in the valley far below. This was a large reservoir formed by a hydroelectric plant. Hills were partially covered by the water, and their peaks jutted beautifully from the water to catch the morning light. We quickly left this site and descended to slightly lower ground. The landscape assumed a parched look as the temperature rose. On either side, rolling hills covered in yellow grass stretched to the foot of high mountains. People were harvesting hay in these areas. In some places they could be seen in the fields cutting it. Other fields were already full of hay bales.
Soon we entered Kulob city, after having driven for about three and a half hours. We found the first NGO on our list of those to visit. This one dealt with helping rural people, especially women, obtain knowledge and access to the law. In Tajikistan, particularly in rural areas in the countryside, many people are not even aware as to what rights they have under the law and as such cannot benefit from the laws which do exist to help them. This NGO tries to bridge this problem by training both people and local governments. We discussed these issues for nearly an hour and a half over tea, with me serving as the translator from Russian. Then we took a tour of the organization’s library and computer resource center, where locals, mainly women, come for training. Afterwards, the director was kind enough to drive us to the next NGO that awaited.
At this NGO, the main purpose is to prevent HIV/AIDS among the many labor migrants that travel to Russia, a growing problem in past years. It was explained to us that trainings were held among local communities, for migrants who would soon leave, their wives, and the children of the community who are viewed as future labor migrants. Several outreach workers joined us who target the train station, bus station, and airports as large numbers of migrants leave to pass out information. The NGO also is responsible for an amateur theater group that presents such issues to school children. While we talked about all of these over an even bigger spread of coffee, tea, cookies, candies and the boiled ears of corn that are for sale everywhere and that I love, we then taken out to lunch and treated to an enormous amount of food at a café.
After this, we made a last visit to another NGO, accompanied by everyone from the second. This one happened to be housed in a maternity hospital and its director was a medical doctor. The work they did was specifically with problems facing the children of labor migrants, exactly what I was most interested in. I discussed the possibility of collaborating with them on future trips to Tajikistan, and they were very open to the idea. They had also prepared us delicious plov for lunch-so we ate twice. The entire trip filled us with such good feeling, both because of the incredible work we saw being carried out by local organizations, and because of the overwhelming Tajik hospitality. I sincerely hope to visit this city again.
For the drive back to Dushanbe, we called the same driver. This time I rode in the front seat. The driver was incredibly talkative, and since for some reason his Tajik accent was very hard to understand I relied on Russian. We talked for the entire trip back and by the end, it was like we were family. He told me that he had been a C student but fell in love with, and married, and very intelligent woman who became a doctor. She soon found that she was unable to have children, and his family advocated divorce. He protested because of his love for her and they stayed childless but together for thirteen years, as which time, as he said, God gave them first one son and then three other children. I thought that was a wonderful story. He was always willing to stop for pictures and at one point stopped to treat us to fresh figs, a particular favorite of mine. He even halfway understood when at a police traffic point I noticed a puppy wandering into the road. Fearing it would be run over (I had already seen one dog hit by a car that day), I rushed out in front of an approaching car to scoop it up and carry it to safety. The traffic police stared in bewilderment as he yelled at me for not valuing my own life but then told me I should take the puppy with me to Afghanistan. From there we began to talk about the dogs the Soviets sent into space and the space program in general. He was a really good guy.
After returning to Dushanbe, I called my good friends Sitora and Nazir. We walked for a while and sat at a café together to say our goodbyes. I will miss both of them very much and hope to see them in the future, although both talk of leaving Tajikistan. I returned to the empty apartment to sleep for a couple of hours and left for the airport at 3 am. Upon arrival, I found that no one was being permitted into the airport because of the departure of the presidents of Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Russia, who were in town for a visit. People milled around outside in the dark. Most of them were clearly labor migrants bound for Russia, apparently still willing to take their chances there despite the crisis. Finally we were allowed in but I found that the women security agents had not yet shown up for work. Once they arrived, I was checked through to the waiting hall where I waited. And waited. And waited. Apparently Medvedev had not yet departed. His helicopters sat on the tarmac, but until he left no flights were allowed to take off. After close to three hours the Russian president finally was seen to be hurried into one of the helicopters and all took off. Almost immediately, boarding to Kabul started. We were bused to a small propeller plane which was only half full. The short flight crossed some of the most breathtaking mountain scenery I had ever seen.

Last Dushanbe Days

The last several days have been very busy as I am getting ready to leave Tajikistan. Classes have been finishing, and I have been invited to many people’s houses in order to say good-bye before leaving.
Saturday we took a group trip to the Ob-I-Garm sanatorium, which is located up in the mountains past Varzob, where I visited last weekend. The trip there was beautiful as the mountain scenery is breathtaking. I had an interesting conversation with the driver, who had just returned from working as a driver for two years in Moscow. I asked him about his experience, and it turned out that he had somehow gained Russian citizenship because his dad was an officer in the Soviet army. Because of this, he didn’t face many of the problems of many Tajik labor migrants, as he is able to obtain the correct documentation and registration.
After arriving at the sanatorium, a group of us went hiking with one of our language teachers. We made our way past the rushing river and started an uphill climb. On the way we passed people, mostly kids, with donkeys going up and down the hill. Some of the donkeys carried loads of hay which seemed bigger than the donkeys themselves. We also passed some areas where beekeepers were working, the boxes of beehives spreading across a flat area in straight rows. It was very sunny, and hot, and different flowers were blooming all around. We finally made it to the top of one hill and decided we would stop there. Cows were grazing nearby. Snow covered peaks were visible in several directions. Our teacher gathered plants and roots from which he will make tea.
We returned to the sanatorium, a huge complex clinging to the side of a hill. I can imagine what it must have been like in the Soviet period, when so many people came to relax. We reclined on kats, platforms that look kind of like beds. These were built out over a ravine and so had a beautiful view. We ate plov and melons. Then several of us went to bath in the water from the hot spring (ob-i-garm means hot water). A small pool had been created to hold the water, and it was housed in a small building. The water was hot and smelled like sulfur, and there was also a very hot steam room. Despite being so hot already and then subjecting ourselves to this, we felt very refreshed afterwards and it seemed to make our skin feel nice.
When we returned from this trip, we quickly got ready to visit Nazir’s house. Nazir is such a wonderful cook, perhaps because as he has no mother and father he has had to do this for himself. He made a noodle dish that he said was Uighur, and that was excellent. Afterwards, Nazir, Gulya and Sitora convinced us to dance. Somehow I always get drawn into this and they always play Uzbek music. Because I spent some time in Uzbekistan they seem to equate my dancing with Uzbek dancing and it seems to be really appreciated, as Sitora is half Uzbek and Nazir and Gulya are Bukhoran Jews. After dancing, Gulya decided that my eyebrows needed to be darkened, something that girls apparently do here. I was a little nervous, but agreed. Gulya mashed up some sort of plant and painted the juice on my eyebrows. After a little while, I washed it off. My eyebrows were a little darker, but I am happy to say not all that much.
The next day, Sitora had invited us to her house so that her mother could teach me to make ugro, the soup that was so delicious at the wedding. While we thought this visit might be a little less intense, I guess really I should have known better. We arrived to find the table covered in cookies, candies, fruits and nuts. Sitora’s mother is incredible kind and a pleasure to visit with. We learned the soup, which is actually quite easy to make so I should have little problem recreating it. Sitora’s mom also went outside of the apartment, where there are several communal tandoor ovens, to make non. We ate so much fresh bread and soup, and then sat around the low table talking and drinking tea. Sitora’s two sisters were there, her mom, and her aunt who had just returned from Novosibirsk. Once again, Uzbek music was played and I was encouraged to dance. They were also very excited by the maybe three Uzbek words I can remember. We really thought we would be leaving soon, only to find that of course, there was a second course and we were quite silly to think this would not be the case. Sitora’s mom brought out fried meat and potatoes which were also really delicious. Afterwards, we again reclined and talked and it was nearing eleven when we made our way home.
Last night I was once again invited out, to an interesting birthday party with the family of my friend Lola. They are from Kulob, and moved here several years ago, and her father apparently holds a rather important government position. In other words, they are some of the leaders of the country, as after the civil war people from Kulob were able to gain much control over the government. While men and women attended the party, which was held in an outside courtyard of a restaurant next to a beautiful pond, the two groups were segregated by a screen. This was fine with me, as I had a great time with the women and kids. At one point Lola’s father came over to check on me and said that he felt somewhat bad about this arrangement, as only the men were drinking alcohol, but that I would be welcomed to the men’s side to have some drinks. I politely declined, although it is interesting to see this different standard for a foreigner. The women had brought salads, bread, and compote they had made themselves, which they said was important for birthday parties and wedding, while the rest of the food was provided by the restaurant. There was live music and dancing. I found it very interesting that the women praised be for my “Kulobi” dancing rather than Tajik dancing, and said that it seemed as if I must be from Kulob myself. The importance of regional identity was clearer with this group than with any other I have seen-perhaps because they are the ones that came out ahead. Finally, we ate the birthday cake and it seemed as if we would be going home. I was having a good time but I hoped this was the case as the small children were becoming tired and cranky and a handful for their mothers, as it was past ten. However, I learned that Lola’s dad had invited a well-known singer, apparently at least partly for my benefit, and so we were waiting for his arrival. This was very nice, although I felt bad for those who were so tired. Luckily he sang a few songs, which a really enjoyed, and then the party ended.
Today is essentially my last day in Dushanbe. I’ll spend one day in Kulob, and after that fly to Kabul. The focus of what I write will shift then-perhaps I’ll need to rename this blog! There were several explosions here in Dushanbe several days ago-one near a hotel quite close to my house and one near the airport. No one was hurt. There are different ideas as to who is behind this, although perhaps it has to do with a visit by the presidents of Russia, Afghanistan and Pakistan. The main street has been lined with police officers, many with bomb-sniffing dogs. Hopefully no more problems emerge as I try to leave!

Varzob

Since most of my activities have been centered in the center of Dushanbe, I have lately been longing to get out of the city and see some of the countryside. Today I got my chance when some friends suggested a trip to Varzob, a district in the foothills outside the Dushanbe where Tajiks often go to relax for the day. The idea quickly spread from friend to friend and at seven this morning a group of around fifteen Americans, Tajiks and one Iranian gathered to begin this trip. I should point out that seven in the morning should be loosely interpreted; arriving at 7:15 I was still forty-five minutes earlier than the latest person. Among the group were Sitora, whose sister’s wedding party I attended, Nazir and Gulya, the Bukhoran Jews who hosted me for dinner, and Malika, who studied for a year in Idaho and speaks perfect Russian, near perfect English, but no Tajik.

The drive out of the city was beautiful. We quickly reached an area where the road, which ran along a rapid-filled river, was surrounded by cliffs on either side. Many large houses (drug money?) and resorts lined the riverbank, with platforms built out over the river where people can enjoy their meals. We passed the ostentatious summer house of the president, gaudy and yet somewhat impressive. We kept driving, however, until we reached a slightly more remote spot. In the distance, snow-capped mountain peaks pierced the cloudless blue sky. We found a spot near a river and settled down for a rest. Yellow flowers and short scrubby trees surrounded us, while two calves, for some reason without their mother, wandered in the area. Several of us tried to climb the nearest hill, but it was covered in loose rocks so I turned back with several other people. We enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine…and then began to get hungry. While most of the Tajiks had wanted to bring food and cook, several of the Americans had overruled them, wanting to try an Iranian restaurant several miles away. We waited and waited, but it seemed the driver had travelled to some village for an unknown reason. Finally we decided to all pile into one bus and make the drive, although as we went in this squished fashion the other driver finally appeared behind us. We divided into two vans and finished the short trip.

At the restaurant, we sat outside on a raised platform close to an artificial lake, which was quite pretty and surrounded by hills. The lake was full of swimmers and boaters, and several of us swam before our meal came, as well as after. We lazed around this area until nearly 5 pm. Of course, the day ended with a delicious watermelon.

I must say, though, that I was very disappointed to go to the restaurant. The food was overpriced and not good at all. I would have rather cooked food as the Tajiks suggested-I think it would have been much better. But it has been a struggle for me to be on a program that is so focused on Iran while my interest is Central Asia. That is the way of things, however. It is unbelievable this program will soon be ending and I will move on.

Sufi Shrine

This weekend I visited the Yaqub-e Charkhi Sufi Shrine, located on the outskirts of Dushanbe. This beautiful site is home to the grave of one of the first disciples of the Naqshibandi Sufis. While many people travel to the shrine to make a pilgrimmage or visit the mosque located on the site on Fridays, on the day I visited there were few other people. Upon entering the site, which is enclosed by high walls, one finds oneself in a beautiful garden. A variety of brightly colored flowers line a fairly large square. Large trees provide shade. After venturing in further, one comes upon a calm square pool of water. The surface was smooth, like glass. In a square a level down from this, ancient trees twist up from the ground. Their trunks are so broad, I can only guess at their age. In this square is the mosque, and a small minaret twists up. The walls of this square were lined with seating areas, and several women with children reclined on them. At the other end of the square, the caretaker of the shrine has an area where he reads prayers to the visitors. He recited a prayer for us, and then we were able to enter a gate to the actual location of the grave. We circled the path around the grave. As my group finished, a mother with two small children entered. They also circled the path, and in one corner the mother knelt down and said a prayer. After we left that area, I noticed a water-pipe emerging from the edge of the pool. The mother filled several bottles with the water. According to one of our language teachers, while this shrine is not associated with a spring as so many Central Asian shrines are, the water from the place is still considered sacred and is taken by people for this reason. People might visit this shrine, or others like it, for several reasons. They might have some problem they need help with and go to pray in a place they consider sacred. They might go simply for the sake of making a pilgrimmage, as is required for Muslims. For those who cannot afford to make the Hajj during their lifetime, this can serve as a substitution. The place was very peaceful and I would have liked to stay in the atmosphere longer and perhaps watch as other people visited. Unfortunately, as part of a group, this was not possible.

The next day, I visited a large bazaar on the outskirts of Dushanbe. I actually really don't like bazaar other than food bazaars, but I wanted to get some material to have some dresses made that will be suitable for my future travels. The bazaars are really too crowded for my liking, but I did notice one interesting thing. Many of the people in the bazzar were obviously quite religious-one could tell because of their dress and in the men's case, the beards. I am not sure if this is because the bazaar is away from the center, and so this is simply not visible where I am living. For the most part the bazaar is filled with cheap goods from China-really not very interesting at all. We did wander through the section of baby cradles, which was quite interesting. The cradles are wood and the baby is strapped with a small contraption through which the urine should flow so diapers are not needed. I've never figured out whether this is actually effective. The most interesting part of this trip though was the friend who was showing us around. Nazir is a Bukhoran Jew whose grandparents moved to Dushanbe to help develop area. There are so few Bukhoran Jews left in Central Asia, he is the first I have met. Soon he will emigrate to Israel-most others already have left for Israel or for New York. Nazir is so friendly and helpful, I am very much looking forward to an invitation to his house later this week.

Later that day I met my friend Sitora, whose sister celebrated her marriage in my last post. We went to her neighborhood by mini-bus and she introduced me to a seamstress who will hopefully finish my dresses in time for me to leave Tajikistan. After all of this I was exhausted and ready for bed!

A Tajik Wedding (Toi)

Instead of celebrating Independence Day at a party at the US Embassy with most of the Americans in my group, I gladly accepted an invitation to a Tajik wedding from one of my new friends, Sitora. Sitora works for one of the cell phone companies here and I met her when I bought a local cell phone plan. Her sister’s recent marriage was being celebrated. Sitora explained that as she was the oldest, she should actually marry before her sister. However, because she wants to continue her studies she insisted that her younger sister be allowed to marry first.

Upon arriving at the family’s apartment, I was ushered into a room where all of the women were celebrating. Most of them were older family members-not the many young friends one pictures at a Western wedding. The brides (it was actually a double celebration for two family members who had recently married) were absent. In fact, aside from several brief appearances, they remained in the back where the food preparation was happening. This was definitely a celebration for the more senior ranking family members. Most of the women were over fifty. All of them wore the beautiful, brightly colored Tajik dress. Everyone sat around the tablecloth on the floor. The tablecloth was spread with a variety of fruits (watermelon, apple, apricot, grapes), vegetables (tomatoes, cucumbers), candy, chocolate, cookies, cakes, sausage, cheese, salads, and of course non, or tandoor bread. Tea was constantly poured and handed out.

In one corner two musicians sang while playing drums. At first the song was slow and sad-sounding. However, it soon picked up tempo and some of the women started to dance. I later talked to the musicians and found out that they play at such events professionally. They were very excited that I am starting to study anthropology as they introduced themselves as folklorists. They provided other forms of entertainment as well, such as telling boisterous jokes and in generally keeping the atmosphere fun with their conversation. However, it seemed that these women might have been considered inappropriate in a different setting. Although they were right in the middle of the gathering with the guests, there seemed to be a distance maintained between them and the rest, as if professional entertainers were not quite on a level with everyone else. This was highlighted by their comparitively very outgoing, sometimes rowdy interaction.
As the music picked up, the brides finally made an appearance. Both wore sequined, bright dresses and held a sheer white, spangled veil over their heads. They entered, stood near the door, and bowed repeatedly as the music played and some of the women danced in front of them. They then quickly left the room again, projecting shyness. I asked Sitora where they had gone and she offered to show me. As we left the room, I was waylaid for a moment as the women got me to dance. But afterwards, we made our way to the kitchen. On the way, I glimpsed the room where the men were celebrating. They seemed to be quietly sitting and eating. Much the same as I noticed at weddings in Palestine last year, the women’s party seemed much more active and fun. Indeed, I noticed the same when I went to a party at the Pakistani ambassador’s house once in DC. I am glad I am a woman-I think the men try to appear as if they are important, discussing serious things, while the women are connecting and feeling and alive in the next room.

In the kitchen, various close female family members were cooking, washing dishes, and sending out new plates and among them were the brides. Weddings here are definitely not all about the girl that is getting married. Rather, they stay behind the scenes and during the several appearances they do make they remain partially veiled and bow, which appears to be a sign of obedience but I can’t be sure as Sitora was unable to explain it to me.
I returned to the main room in order to watch a skit of sorts that was being put on by one of the aunts and the sister-in-law. The sister in law was playing the shy innocent bride. The aunt, however, dressed as a man and painted on a mustache. She played a lewd husband who chased the “bride”, making gestures that at times could be interpreted as less than appropriate. They danced around like this until the “bride” collapsed in laughter.
As I talked and listened to the women more, I received yet more confirmation that to really understand this place, I will have to study Tajik, keep up my Russian, and eventually start on Uzbek. It quickly became apparent to me that a lot of Uzbek was being spoken. I asked about it, and found out that Sitora’s mother is, in fact, Uzbek. Sitora speaks with her mother in Uzbek and her father in Tajik (and in Russian at work). Many of the aunts, therefore, were Uzbek and all languages seemed to be intelligible to everyone. People shifted in and out from one language to the other, even mixing words within sentences. One of the musicians leaned in and told me that Uzbeks and Tajiks are the same, they live the same, they just speak different languages.

Soon the food was brought out. First they was a soup, I think it was called ugro or something similar, that was really one of the best things I have ever eaten. It had noodles, meatballs, and chickpeas. Then, of course, came the required osh, or plov-the standard fare of most Central Asian celebrations. This rice dish is sometimes compared to pilaf and this time had carrots, chickpeas, and beef. The ingredients can change slightly depending on the region and the availability of produce.

Then, after more dancing, the final part of the ceremony commenced. The groom entered with several friends while the brides stood next to them, again repeatedly bowing. The groom received a certain brightly colored cloth from the women, which he tied around his waist. Then, the wedding presents were brought in. The tablecloth had been cleared and a huge pile of bedding, clothing, household goods like plates and irons, bread, eggs, chocolate, sausage, cooked chicken and sambusa/samsa or meat filled pastry appeared. At the end, I prayer was recited and everyone passed their hands over their faces. Then, we all saw the bride and groom off to his house and that was the end. I was interested to learn that the groom has been working in a bazaar in Moscow for the past several years and actually seems to have been quite successful. The bride will join him there in August.

Sitora and I then played dress-up for a little while. That is to say, she dressed me in Tajik wedding clothes and took my picture. We then joined the remaining women in the living room. All those who had been working so hard in the kitchen were now lounging around the tablecloth and finally getting something to eat themselves. However, I couldn’t follow the conversation because it was in Uzbek. Like I said, my work will never be done as years of language training seem to be stretching before me.

As it was starting to get dark, I decided I had better head back to my apartment. A treat bag with candy, cookies, fruit and sambusa was prepared for me and a bowl of osh was also packed. Sitora also gave me both a man’s wedding scarf and two women’s scarves to remember the evening. But, really I would never forget it anyways.